down time.

Ok, so... in light of my new situation I have found myself having quite a bit of free time on my hands. Honestly, I enjoy it very much but somehow always seem drawn to the hustle and bustle of keeping myself as busy as possible. So, instead of enjoying my afternoons and such, I find myself making camp in Buckley's extra office working on my briefs and helping Crystal asnwer phones, just to stay busy. 

Oh, well... I guess that's just my nature! I can't help it, I'm a workaholic or something. Nothing wrong with that I guess, but I will be glad when I am not juggling two jobs at the same time. Working alot is not a problem... working just as hard in two different fields is what seems to wear me down these days. 

Crystal was right- I am definitely reading about some disturbing lives and it's hard not to let your emotions get involved. I guess that will just take time and practice to master looking past it.

Ok, enough babbling for now. I do have to send congrats out to Jerry Wayne for the big news he just delivered me... YEAH FOR YOU! It's about damn time!! haha

news.

Ok, who's ready to hear the story?

Last Friday I had a huge falling out with my boss. It was a long time coming, I guess but it pushed me to do what I have been needing to do for a long time: move on. Of course I was upset and feeling irrational, and I would have never made it through the day without my friends rallying around me. 

Andrea pushed me out of the nest and Crystal caught me. haha. Without the encouragement of Andrea to get the hell out and both her and Crystal's support in finding a new destination, I may not have made this step that I have been needing to make for months. And I am so grateful. I am still stunned by the fact that it took less than 3 hours to find a new job. And not just a job, but something that I have the potential to do really well at and even make a career of. Thank you so much girls for having my back and helping me get out of that volatile situation. :) I owe you BIG TIME!

SO anyway- on to Sean Buckley's office to write briefs for he and Crystal and back to a normal life. No more working 70 hour weeks. No more being on call 24 hours a day. No more of my cell phone blowing up all the time. No more running bullshit errands all the time. No more picking up the pieces.

AND I can FINALLY take a vacation!! I have had a WHOPPING 2.5 days off this year and I think I'm due. Yea!!

On top of all that I am moving on Saturday to a new, cheaper apartment so not only will I be making more money, but I will be spending less. Works out pretty well I think. It's funny how all this happened in only a matter of a week. 

Wish me luck, and keep in touch and you can email me at rceezee@sbcglobal.net and my cell phone number will be the same!

Thanks again girls for making it possible to change my life for the better! It was about time... :)

it's time.

It is time.

It is time for me to make a move in my life. 

I am tired of sitting idly by and waiting for my life to happen to me. It's time for me to do something about it. To be proactive. To become something. To find what I've been looking for this whole time. It's time for me to get my shit together. To make up my mind. To be decisive. To be honest. TO BE WHO I WAS MEANT TO BE.

Because right now, I'm not. 

I deserve a life. I deserve someone in my life who means something to me. And I deserve to be happy. It's time for me to make that happen. I am the only one who can do that. And I will.

I will...

everything in between.

So it's been quite some time since I posted anything... it appears that I am WAY overdue. The last posing was about my Mr. OC coming to visit me in Houston. Now, this was a monumental thing because Houston is where we met but since then he has been whisking me off to Vegas, California and the like to visit. BUT since we both have an open weekend, he decided to come visit me back here. 

And I must say- I totally love that. Houston is my town. I know the scene and my friends are here. So after 5 months he was finally getting the opportunity to seal the stamp of approval from the Houston gang. Let's just say he passed with flying colors! Even amongst the toughest of critics (my gay guys) he shone like a rockstar!! Of course this is no surprise to me because I already knew how special he is and because I know he is such a good fit for me, that they would all love him as well. :) Needless to say it was a great weekend!!

Last weekend I flew out to Orange County (at which point this is where I give my Nessa a HUGE shout out!) and it was breathtaking. I've pretty much never been anywhere and since I met Bob I've been to Vegas and now California. Did I mention it was beautiful? I was beside myself all weekend long. It was amazing being in his element too. I finally got to watch him in action doing the thing he lives for (surfing) and got to see everything that makes him who he is. 

Until last weekend, I thought the whole "long walks on the beach" thing was so cliche and cheezy, but not anymore. I had never been happier!! You can see it on my face in the picure I posted of us. I can honestly say that I never in my life have seen a picture that I could look at and be amazed by the true, natural, expression of happiness on my face. And it fits. I like to see myself that way and I never have.

zzz.

That's not a very accurate title. Because I am not doing any sleeping right now. I'm restless. I'm thinking too much and it's not letting me sleep. Thinking about how complicated my life has gotten. How the coolest guy I've ever met lives on the opposite side of the country. We're keeping it casual- I mean, realistically, how often can we see each other? I can't make a commitment to a guy I hardly ever see! Am I dating? No. Have I been hooking up with other guys? No. Why? Because I don't want to. At the end of the day I would rather go home alone than be with someone else. It's really ridiculous when it comes right down to it. And yet, I feel myself getting immersed in it more and more every day. It appears that he has more self control than I do because he doesnt get all swept up and mushy about things. Unless he's been out drinking. 

Then it comes out. The infamous drunk dial. The inhibitions are lowered and Mr. "Together" becomes a big softie. I think he might be afraid of me. Afraid of what I mean and how I may play into his life. I think he's afraid that if he lets himself care about me too much that it's going to screw things up for him. He's got it together. He's got a great job, he travels, he gets to do whatever he wants on the weekends, and he has no obligations. Nice little bubble he lives in there in Orange County. 

Then I come along. I am unexpected. I am young and free and do not have the baggage women his age have. I think I have thrown him off course. He remembers the most obscure details of my life. Details that guys I was with for years didn't even remember. He tells me constantly how much I surprise him and how he continues to be more impressed by me every day. He tells me I am the coolest chick he has ever met and why hasn't someone snatched me up yet? He tells me all kinds of things that you only tell someone you're really interested.   

But he lives in California. And I live in Texas.

rules.

Rules of Drunk Dialing:

1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false
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2.It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't
remember
it, it didn't happen.

3.If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. "Mom I'm in McDonald's and they're playing our song. I love you"

4.Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something.

5.Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their
friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come.

6.Drunk texting is alright... If you are prepared to read what you
wrote the next day when you are sober.

7.It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they've ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night.

8.You can also call this same ex and let her know, that you know, that she still loves you. Then explain to her that I would still love me too!

9.If you are a frequent dialer, never get mad if someone dials you. Be happy they thought of you in this special time.

10.It is always a good idea to sing on someone's answering machine or voicemail. Especially a show tune.

11.Drunk dialing should be fun and light hearted or dirty and sex
crazed...Never angry.

12.Most likely you will never drunk dial your best friends. They are usually the ones taking your phone away and reminding you that "you have a problem".

13.If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason. Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it.

14.Always call someone you know. Finding random numbers in phone books is bad and usually leads to angry dialing.

15.If your cell phone dies, remember everything happens for a reason. Never borrow a friend's phone to do your dialing.

16. Drunk dialing to foreign country is usually too costly to be a good idea. But if you really feel like if you don't call this person you'll just die, break rule 15 and use a friend's phone.

17.Drunk dialing may lead to drunk muffin stuffing.... Be prepared.

18.When dialing remember that "hanging out" at 3 in the A.M. usually doesn't involve cards it's probably going to be more like cheap lube and handcuffs. So be prepared when you really do want to play X-box when your drunk..... "you want me to do what with your box? Play with it?"

19.Don't drunk dial in the pool, tub, or rainstorm. It only ends up
with you blow drying your phone when your far to drunk to be using electronics and you wont be able to drunk dial anymore that night.

20.Never, I repeat, never drunk dial your boss, preacher, grandpa, or friend's parents. If you are that hard up to call someone, there is an 800 number on Budweiser boxes. The person on the other line always sounds cute, plus I think they are used to drunk dialers

addendum.

I feel that I must issue an andendum to my last blog. It seems I have somewhat offended some of the guys I used to date. I greatly apologize. I do not truly think that any of you are worthless. Nor do I think that the relationships were worthless. I think that my jaded perception on my past has come only recently from someone who hurt me and took advantage of my good nature and genuine concern for the well being of other people. Over the course of the last 3 years there have been 2 serious relationships that have greatly affected me and remain fresh in the front of my mind. It is these relationships that caused the comments that have proved to be offensive to people who most certainly do not deserve anything but my best wishes and happy intentions!

So many of you have made a profound impact on my life and I would like to thank you for being a part of it and feel so gracious that we are still able remain friends throughout the years.