Monday, February 20, 2006


I would like to say that I am a very trusting person... because I am, but while I will trust you to your face, I will wonder about the terrible things that are happening behind my back.

Maybe this makes me a fool... I do not know. I find myself enveloping myself in people so easily. Sharing my heart and my feelings and my fears with people who may not deserve that part of me. 

It's difficult sometimes for me to decipher reality from falsehood when it comes to someone I care about and trust willingly. How am I to know if they are lying or being decietful when I am easily blinded by my feelings and sense of trust? 

It is too easy at first to accept what the outsiders throw my way with only a grain of salt, but as time goes by, it becomes increasingly more difficult to battle the outside forces when even the inside ones are starting to look hazy. What to do?

I am starting to notice a pattern in my blog entries. They usually come on Mondays and Wednesdays... those of you who know what that means may infer your own conclusions. Every week it gets a little harder and a little more complicated to make it sucessfully through those few shaky days- but that's not to say I'm not trying extremely hard and that I'm not making every effort to keep a smiling face and not be judgemental prematurely.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's much harder when you care about someone who may not care about you just as much...