Tuesday, January 24, 2006


I hate being honest with myself because it only makes me realize things that I do not like about me as a person.  I realize I am a cynic on some levels- there are things that I will never be 100% convinced of. Love is one of those things.

I'm the kind of person who will be having the time of my life and somewhere in the back of my mind I am just waiting for the bottom to drop out. Maybe I've been burned too many times- that's not it because I don't often get burned- maybe it's because I have burned so many people in my life that I am afraid that maybe it's my due time.

I do not consider myself a bad person but I suppose that it's hard for me to think that any relationship will really ever work out when there are too many possibilities to fail.

Thursday, January 19, 2006


You're all that I have and you're all that I need
Each and every day I pray to get to know you please
I want to be close to you, yes I'm so hungry
You're like water for my soul when it gets thirsty
Without you there's no me
You're the air that I breathe...

Monday, January 16, 2006


I think it's so funny how people behave sometimes. Not funny, haha, funny stupid. I would like to think that i surround myself with intellegent, mature, adults, but apparently I am mistaken.

I'm sorry, but taking a stab at me by deleting me off your myspace friends list is NOT going to hurt my feelings. It's going to hurt YOU. I dont even understand the rationality behind it- do I care if I have one less "friend" on my list? No, because quite frankly the people who are my real friends anyway stand by me in life and do not feel the need to validate each other on a stupid website.

I am not a child, and I consider myself a reasonably intellegent person capable of adult conversation and a sound ability to handle confrontation if necessary. Unfortunately it seems that my attempts to be honest, forthcoming and sincere have only served to piss a couple of people off. People who, rather than come to me and talk about it, decide instead to find a solution by means of pettiness.

Well, fine then... you don't want to be my friend? I don't need you anyway... 

Tuesday, January 3, 2006

get the word out.

Apparently I am not so good at being accomodating. I like my space and I don't think anyone can fault me for that.  Some days I have alot going on and I just cannot handle one more thing on my plate.  It's frustrating, but does this make me a bad person??

I feel like I need to wear a sign on my shirt saying "emotionally unavailable, slightly inconsiderate, selfish, and needy" just so that people know exactly what they are getting themselves into. 

I don't feel like this every day- just a few days here and there lately. I suppose it could be the partying bringing me down on a daily basis, but not knowing makes it harder to feel better.