already gone.

Sometimes all it takes is the right music to speak what your heart cannot. I've been waiting several years for a song like this to come along and help me finish closing a very old wound.

The words alone do not do it justice...

Already Gone

by Kelly Clarkson

Remember all the things we wanted?

Now all our memories, they're haunted.

We were always meant to say goodbye.

Even with our fists held high,

It never would've worked out right.

We were never meant for do or die.

I didn't want us to burn out...

I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop.

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road,

Someone's gotta go.

And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better-

But I want you to move on,

So I'm already gone.

Looking at you makes it harder

But I know that you'll find another

That doesn't always make you want to cry.

It started with a perfect kiss

Then we could feel the poison set in.

Perfect couldn't keep this love alive...

You know that I loved you so, I love you enough to let you go.

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road,

Someone's gotta go.

And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better-

But I want you to move on,

So I'm already gone.

I'm already gone, already gone...

You can't make it feel right, when you know that it's wrong.

I'm already gone, already gone...

There's no moving on, so I'm already gone.

Already gone, already gone, already gone...

Already gone, already gone, already gone...

Remember all the things we wanted?

Now all our memories, they're haunted.

We were always meant to say goodbye.

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road,

Someone's gotta go.

And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better-

But I want you to move on,

So I'm already gone.

I'm already gone, already gone...

You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong.

I'm already gone, already gone...

There's no moving on, so I'm already gone.

om.

"In the beginning was the Word,

and the Word was with God,

and the Word was God."

-Gospel of John

"the om"

om

the sacred and mystical sanskrit word

om is the breath of god

the first sound of creation

according to tradition,

everything manifested

comes from the primordial vibration

which is symbolized by

om

all material objects

all living beings

including each of us,

all spiritual teachings and knowledge

om

is the primo mobile

om is seen as the first manifestation

of the unmanifested god

om is the eternal world of god,

the supreme unmanifested divine being

om is the sound of all creation

it is a prayer unto itself

om appears in vedic sanskrit

as a word of solemn affirmation

and respectful assent

the sutras of paranjali state that

om is the supreme name of god

and it cannot have any meaning

other than god

they also say that remembering om

and it's meaning

will make the devotee happy and focused

on the enlightened path

om

represents the supreme being,

the past, present and future

are all included in this one sound

it is a timeless mantra

whosoever meditates on this one syllable

obtains all that they desire

we are spiritual beings

conceived through the sound of creation

born from the music of the spheres

we are one with all creation

the way be view ourselves can broaden our

sense of who we are

and help us appreciate ourselves

as brave spirits on an important mission

to learn and grow here on earth

remembering that we are spiritual beings

is part of the work that we are here on earth to do

each of us carries within us

the capacity to change the world

in small ways to better or worse

remembering who we are

can give us the patience to persevere

in this way, we realize that

om symbolizes the infinite and divine being

and that we are made of light and pure energy

all human are beings of energy,

vibrating at unique and beautiful frequencies

like divine notes

in the symphony of the universe

life is the province of learning

and the wisdom we acquire throughout our lives

is the reward of our existence

earth school provides us with an education

for the heart and soul

when we acknowledge that

growth is an integral part of life,

and that attending earth school is the responsibility

of every individual

we understand that we are harmonious melodies

in the symphony of the spheres

and we can openly and joyfully

look for the blessings buried in the difficulties

we face every day

as we traverse the winding roads

that lead us from birth to death,

experience is our patience teacher

the idea of flow

the om

reflects on the fact that

things are not rigid and fixed

the flow of energy in this universe

does not always have a human agenda

or your personal agenda

as its primary focus

we must realize that we are intimately connected

to a larger rhythm

a greater voice

a universal flow

this wisdom we accrue

will bless us

may you be blessed!

om shanti om

we are the jewel in the heart of the lotus

we beseech the wisdom

of all enlightened beings,

past and future

may the four immeasurable minds

grow in the hearts and minds of all beings

may we know the true,

clear light of liberation

om mani padme om

we are one

"I am you; you are ME.

You are the waves, I am the ocean.

Know this and be free, be Divine."

-Sri Sathya Sai Baba

namaste

**taken from Humanity Healing, http://humanityhealing.net**

cruising part 2- Key West

So our first stop on our cruise in November was in Key West. We had never been there before, but were really excited about going to see Ernest Hemmingway's house, and even found a Caribbean Pirate Soul Museum that we wanted to check out.

I never realized how small Key West is, but it's such a sweet little island! When we docked, hubby and I rented bicycles and rode all over the place. Here are some pics from our day:

The Hemmingway House

View of the front of the house

I would KILL for this wrap around porch!!

Orchids hanging from the trees...

Really cool looking flower... have no idea what it is. Does anyone??

From the Hemmingway House:

Ornate little elephants surrounding the pool @ Hemmingway's house.

Sweet little altar in the garden, I think we will come back here and renew our vows someday!

me & my honey in the garden

Cute little sitting area under the trees.

Hubby on the footbridge in the garden.

Ernest Hemmingway's actual desk and typewriter.

If you did not know, Ernest Hemmingway is a cat lover. He brought to his home many many polydactyl cats (cats with multiple toes, 5, 6, and 7 per foot even, who can swim, grab things, etc.) Anyway, part of his legacy was to leave the estate to the cats where they would be welcome to live, play, and procreate for the life of the estate. Currently, there are over 45 cats living on property, and they pretty much have free run of the place. It was really fun to see them everywhere and of course love on them when I got the opportunity!

Kitty in the garden (look at his feet! he had 6 toes on each foot)

another poly kitty

this one was sunning himself in the window ;)

This is Charlie Chaplin, Hemmingway liked to name his cats for famous people. I can see why this one was Charlie, can you see his little mustache??

They sure don't mind posing for the camera!

How could I resist loving on these sweet kitties?!?

I think he's contemplating a swim ;)

Like any other museum/house, there were signs posted everywhere to not sit on the furniture, or cross the barriers, or touch the fabrics... but this guy lives above the law!! He sure did look comfy, and the guide said this is his "regular" spot... he doesn't share with the other cats!

The kitty cemetery, see the stones for Willard Scott and Marilyn Monroe? Hemmingway had quite the sense of humor!

The lighthouse across the street from the Hemmingway House... Ernest used to tell people he bought this house here because the lighthouse would always help him find his way home from his favorite bar in town. haha!

His favorite bar, that's still hoppin'... Sloppy Joe's

It was such a cool thing to see... and I'm a big fan of Hemmingway, so I might be a little biased, but it was really cool! Here's a couple more random pics from the day...

My sis-in-law bike riding in town. I wish we had pics of hubby and I riding our bikes... it was so much fun, and a great way to get around!

My handsome hubby trying to figure out how to bring this boat home with us, haha!

Tiger Woods & men who cheat.

Let me preface this by saying that, for me, cheating is the #1 unforgivable situation in a relationship. I believe this wholeheartedly with every fiber of my being. I find it appalling that people continue to make excuses for celebrities, politicians, etc. that are caught in the media with their indiscretions.

It's always with the, "Oh, he's a celebrity, he has access to more women than the average man ever would... of course he was tempted into cheating." Or, "His marriage is unhappy, or his wife is unavailable." Or even "Men are scientifically predisposed to needing and wanting a variety of sexual partners. He can't help it, it's science." BULLS%*$!!

And then somehow, inevitably, it seems that the wives are the ones who end up suffering the media trauma, losing everything, and being "the bad guy" in these situations. It makes me sick!

FINALLY, this morning I heard a response from a man that was actually real, and no-nonsense.

Chuck Nice, an actor and comedian was on the Today Show this morning and said when asked in regards to the Tiger Woods scandal and why men cheat:

"I've said this before, and I will say it again. And no one wants to accept this as an answer. It is a FAILURE OF CHARACTER. That is it. End of story. It's a failure of character. A man who has the strong spiritual conviction to say, that 'although I may want to do this, I will rely upon a higher power to make sure and strengthen me so that I am able to stand for my vows,' is the man who will NOT cheat. Now that's the end of it!"

Thank you. Thank you Chuck for being the kind of man who stands up for marriage and vows, and the bond between a married couple. No matter what, it's never right, it's never excusable, and it's really nice to hear a man say that. And say it on TV no less!!

This is the kind of man my husband is, and he is not shy about saying it, or "hurting another man's feelings" by pointing that out. I think so many men shy away from this topic or make excuses for their friends or other men who cheat because they feel that it makes them "less of a man" or whatever. Who knows... but it was so refreshing to see one of the good ones out in public speaking on behalf of the GOOD men who are still out there.

vacationing!

I'm not sure if I've shared my hubby's and my wedding/honeymoon story, but it's kind of an interesting one. It's at least a little different than most peoples'...

We got married September 6, 2008 in Vegas. Not the "let's get married by Elvis in a drive-thru chapel" wedding, but at the Venetian with 25 of our closest friends and family members. Anyway, we made a long weekend of it and got home on Monday night. We had given ourselves a couple extra days of recuperation time before the honeymoon, and thank goodness we did! Upon returning home, we found out that a huge hurricane was headed straight toward us in less than 3 days. So, we got to work boarding up the house and stocking up on non-perishables and ice... and canceled the honeymoon. They were right, it was a HUGE storm and knocked out power lines, cars, houses, and even whole towns. We spent the next 12 days without electricity, playing monopoly by candlelight and eating whatever we could cook on the grill outside. It was fun and it was unique, and we will never forget it.

We tried rescheduling a couple of times, but things always came up and we just never got out. We finally found a trip that stuck, and scheduled a week cruise for the November after our first anniversary. Needless to say, we were totally stoked! We made the final arrangements, and received our cruise paperwork September 1st. Then... about 4 weeks later we found out we were pregnant. ;)

Luckily, being on the boat didn't bother me much, and while we may have once had plans of fruity drinks and crazy shore excursions, that just wasn't going to happen. We did have a blast, and got to see and do all kinds of fun stuff even if it was a honeymoon/babymoon. I wanted to post some pics we took, but will have to do it installments because there are so many.

I personally must say that I enjoyed cruising quite a bit. No airport security, no crowded planes, no endless driving in a car... it was nice! Plus we didn't have to worry about finding a good place to stay in a strange place, or worry about being able to find local food that wouldn't bother the hubby's Crohn's disease. Did I already say how nice it was? LOL

Sunset from the boat

docked in Nassau (our boat, the Conquest on the right)

Lido deck and water slide at night

The boat was French themed, so there was amazing artwork EVERYWHERE!

View down into the lobby from the Upper Deck

Anyway, it was a great way to spend our honeymoon/anniversary/last vacation before the baby comes. I have some fun pics from our destinations that I'll post later. :)

catching up - news!

So... my apologies for being on hiatus. I have sorely missed you all, and missed my weekly writing. I always have so much running around in my head, blogging has always been such a great outlet for me.

At the moment, there is only one big thing that I want to share with all of my blog friends, the people who know me through my writing, and are otherwise complete strangers... but sometimes my closest friends.

I would like to announce that my wonderful husband and I are expecting our very first baby in June 2010!

You guys know how much this has been on my mind over the course of the last 2 years, and how much the hubby and I have been praying and trying to get pregnant. Finally it happened, and we could not be happier! As of this week I am 12 weeks along, and the morning sickness finally seems to be fading.

2 weeks ago we got to see the baby for the first time. It was truly magical! Our little tiny tiny baby was doing flips and waving it's arms all around for the camera. And of course, we could hear the heartbeat... making it all finally feel so real! I can't wait to have actual ultrasound printouts to post, and we are really excited to find out the sex of the baby about a week after Christmas.

Anyway, just wanted to share the big news and let you know that I'm "back"! ;)

needing a kickstart.

I know I haven't been writing... it's not because I don't want to, or can't endlessly think of things to write about, I've just been feeling a little stifled I guess. Mostly from the invasion of my blog by an unwelcome source. But I've decided not to change the name of my blog after all. It's who I am, and I truly don't feel like I have anything to hide. Whether it's a friend who reads, a co-worker, employer, or even a stranger, what you see is what you get. If that's not good enough, then I guess that means it's time for "us" to part ways.

I'm sort of appalled about the state of society today in which employers especially feel that they can judge people based on their personal lives. If I am otherwise a private person, and yet still your star employee, then why would anything I write in my private life concern you in any way? It seems like these things are happening more and more every day to people everywhere. Does this mean that we should all be shut-ins and stifle our personalities in order to appease a judgmental person existing only in our outside lives? I say no.

Thanks to Nancy for giving me a little hope this morning with her message to me. I needed a kickstart, and I needed to get this off my chest. I refuse to be a by-product of a broken society. I can only be the person I am, and that is enough for me.