Sunday, November 20, 2005

what i realize.

So today, after spending the evening in my fancy apartment all alone I realized that something about me has changed.  I don't even know what it is that spurred this realization, but it became very obvious to me almost immediately.

I do not believe in love at first sight. Simple as that... I used to, and I remember that I used to because I secretly hoped that somewhere I would turn around and lock eyes with a man who I would instantly know was made for me.  

I am aware of how silly that sounds. But I swear I am not a dilusional nitwit. Unfortunately it dawned on me today that I no longer have even a glimmer of that hope left in me at all.  Maybe it's the fact that I have grown up, maybe it's just that I have finally become realistic about how silly the whole concept of love is.

I have been dating for almost a decade, I have had multiple failed relationships, hundreds of unreturned phone calls, and thousands of kisses. But for what? I am 23 years old, I am alone, and I don't even believe in love at first sight anymore.

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