Thursday, July 9, 2009

on the heels of Iva Messy.

As does often happen, one of the blogs I regularly read has shared a page from the book of my life. It's always so surprising when someone else writes about the very thing you're going through in your own affairs.

Here it is:

Iva Messy: A Friendship Breakup?

On the heels of Iva, the only thing I will add is this:

friend |frend|
a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection
• a person who acts as a supporter of a cause, organization, or country by giving help.
• a person who is not an enemy or who is on the same side : she was unsure whether he was friend or foe.

ORIGIN Old English frÄ“ond, of Germanic origin; related to Dutch vriend and German Freund, from an Indo-European root meaning ‘to love."

-cited from the New Oxford American Dictionary

People who are your "Friend" should show support, and care for you in the same manner as you do them. Friends do not run out on you, friends do not forsake you in the name of money, and friends do not lie or betray.

If you are associated with people who do this to you, they are in fact, NOT friends and should be eradicated from your life. At least, that's how I feel and that's the way I practice relationships within my own life.

Life is way too short to waste it on people and things that bring negativity into your life. I personally CHOOSE to have people around me who:

1. Love me as much as I love them
2. Respect me and my family the way I do theirs
3. Do not create "high school-ish" drama
4. Are positive, honest, and trustworthy
5. And enjoy every day of their lives to the fullest...
...without harming or compromising the lives of other people.

There's my 2 cents.


  1. Exactly. Which is why I only have about 4 real, true friends. Lots of acquaintances, sure, but only about 4 with whom I'd share my secrets.

  2. I love it! well done. all very good points! i really love that you pulled the definition of 'friend'.

    wow. thank you for linking to me!

  3. Well said.
    I would add that recently, I have realized that men cannot be friends with women. There is almost, always, some angle or underlying motivation for why they want to be your friend. I am trying to disentangle, myself, from a toxic situation right now....
    thank you for writing what I, too, think friendship is and should be.

  4. Thanks ladies... this is never an easy situation- whether you're dealing with men or women. It's just so tragic that it has to happen at all!

    Thanks Iva for sharing something that I could really relate to, and thanks to all of you for support! :)

  5. True friends are such a gift. I know that recently I've had to remove myself from those who thrive on negativity and drama. Friends should bring us joy, not kill our spirit.

    A toast to good friends!

  6. Preach it sista! I used to think I had LOTS of friends. Now I know I have lots of acquaintances. Family you don't get to pick but they are yours and nobody else's. Good or bad. lol And I now count all my friends on my one hand. I will keep them tucked inside it like gold. Nice post, Rach. :-)