Tuesday, October 18, 2005

love of your life.

As you may remember I decided this weekend to fight my innate urges to drunk dial in the evenings, and as I can honestly say that I am not drunk, I have indeed been drinking, so bear with me... this is my new alternative.

So I always hear that everyone has that "one" person in their life.   A person who you would give up everything and run to the ends of the earth for.  Someone with whom, no matter the time or distance between you, you will always be able to pick up right where you left off.  The one that is and will always be "the love of your life."  Well, what does that mean, exactly? Does that mean that no matter how hard you try to love someone else just as much, that you will never be sucessful? Or does it mean that this one person is truly "the one" you are supposed to be with for the rest of your life and if you missed the boat that you are just S.O.L.?

I am not entirely sure that I have a clear cut view on this issue, but it's hard not to at least consider it given the recent happenings in my life.  A few months ago I had the man who I consider to be that "one" for me right within my reach... so close that I could taste the kiss that will defne all others who come after him.  But I foolishly passed on my chance so that I could spend even more uneccessary time realizing what I had already known for quite some time about my present relationship.  I am now finding myself in a position of choice: I no longer have the obligations that initially held me back, but I am afraid that I have indeed missed the boat, and it is not willing to come back to get me.

I do not know that I can live with this quandry. Fate has somehow crossed our seemingly unlikely paths once again (how many chances can one girl get?!?) and I feel that I must do whatever it takes to follow through this time.  I do not know if I should make every effort possible to help him understand that I always have and always will feel that he is "the one" or if I should just chalk it up to bad decision making and give up on this chance forever?

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