Thursday, April 23, 2009

floundering in blog land.

I am thinking hard about what my next blog will be about. Not this blog you're reading right now, but the NEXT one. Why such a strange approach? The next blog I publish will be number 100. 100! I can hardly believe it. I've been writing forever, but I remember when I first discovered the world of blogging. It was 2002, and I was in my senior year at Texas Tech. Back then, it was really just a place I could go to post and preserve some of my better work. Unfortunately, it did not preserve very well, as did an overhaul and I haven't been able to access my blog since. It's here, and I can still see it... but it's detached from this blog like another life...

In any case, that time in my life was a very different one. I was 21, and knee deep in creative writing classes, poetry classes, and research projects. I lived in a house with my best friend, and we spent our evenings and down time out in our sun room on our computers. It was great. Oh, to be a student again. I don't believe I had a boyfriend at the time... though they came and went from time to time. I do know that I was restlessly pining away for the one I thought was "meant to be." I did quite a bit of writing about him back then. My professors loved it- you know how it is, the most heartfelt writing comes from strong emotion, and I was heartbroken and lost. I was sure we would've gotten married had I stayed there. I am glad I did not.

I was also 21, so I was really just sinking my teeth into the bar scene. I was meeting all kinds of people from all over the place and having the time of my life. Unfortunately at that point, I had no idea what I was going to do with that life post-graduation. I don't think I could have ever dreamed I would end up where I am today, and who I am today. After graduation, the blogging took a hiatus for awhile until I moved to Houston and myspace came along.

It's been a long journey, and I love to read the old posts to see the person who was writing them. Sometimes she was lonely, sometimes she was hopeful, and sometimes she was buried in a dark and twisted cocoon of self doubt. She was me, she IS me, just in a different form. It's strange to think of all the things that have happened since February of 2002 when I wrote my first blog.

Number 100 signifies merely a stopping point in that journey, and I want to make it notable, enjoyable, and significant in it's own right. I must come up with something that will properly signify the occasion.

Maybe it should have been this one. ;)